Puck's Golden Rules
by readbetweenthesigns
Summary: Puck has 10 rules, just 10 and he expects them to be followed... *One Shot*


**Disclaimer: Ownership is neither claimed not implied.**

**A/N: Papa don't preach….**

"Hey gorgeous," Puck called to the beautiful young woman who had just walked into his bar. "Does your mother know you're here?" he asked with a grin.

"No," the young woman snorted her reply. "And don't even think of calling her either," she said, holding up her hand, her eyes closed.

"If Shelby finds out you're in here and I didn't tell her, she'll have my hide, you know that," Puck reminded her.

"I'm not staying long, I'm not going to buy a drink," she explained in a much put upon voice.

"You wouldn't get served anyway," Puck scoffed. "It's no use flashing your fake ID in here, I know _exactly_ how old you are," he reminded her.

"Hey, Beth," a new voice called from the doorway. The young man it belonged to walked over to where Beth stood at the bar, chatting with Puck.

"Hi Josh," Beth answered a little breathlessly, reaching up to kiss his cheek when he drew near enough. "Josh, I'd like you to meet Puck, one of the most important people in my life," she announced.

Puck looked the newcomer up and down. "Is this your subtle way of introducing me to your boyfriend?" he asked.

"Yeah," Beth winced. "How are you coping so far?" she asked with a grin.

"I'm cool," Puck lied.

Beth burst out laughing. "Yeah, right," she sniggered. "Give me a shot of the hard stuff," she teased, holding her hand out for a glass. "And one for yourself," she added the usual line.

"You want ice with that?" Puck asked, going through the familiar routine.

"Yep," Beth winked. Puck poured her a glass of regular coke with vast quantities of ice.

"There you go, Princess," Puck grinned, completing their standing joke, regular coke was the hard stuff, diet coke was the healthy option, it never got old. "What can I get you?" he asked Josh, who was stood watching the interaction between his girlfriend and the bartender with interest.

"Just a beer please, whatever you have on tap," Josh answered. Puck raised his eyebrow. "Here," Josh sighed and offered his ID for inspection.

Puck returned the ID to Josh and poured his beer. He desperately wanted to say something but he had to wait for the go ahead.

"So?" Beth asked. "What do you think?"

"What do I think about what?" Puck asked back.

"What do you think Quinn will say?" Beth sighed and rolled her eyes. "God, it's like pulling teeth," she muttered to Josh. "I'm going to go call her, see if she'll come over, get both meetings over and done with today," she mumbled to herself, walking towards the ladies, already scrolling through the contacts on her phone.

"So you're Puck," Josh said nervously, his eyes darting everywhere, except at Puck.

"I'm Puck," Puck nodded. "What exactly has she told you about me?" he asked, curiously, wiping the bar absently.

"Errm, not too much, just that you're very important in her life and she wants us to get along," Josh answered, his voice still slightly quivering.

"Well, Josh," Puck said as he leant forwards. "Read this, follow it and we'll get along just fine," he murmured, handing a laminated card to the scared young man.

Josh read from the card out loud. "Rules for dating my daughter?" he asked, looking a little surprised.

"Read on, numbnuts," Puck said in a hard voice, his lip curled up.

Josh gulped. "Number one," he whispered and gulped again, seeing Puck change stance slightly and fold his arms across his muscular chest. "Get a job," he read. "I already have a job," Josh assured Puck. Puck just raised an eyebrow. "Number two. Understand I don't like you," he said, a hint of a laugh in his voice. He risked another glance at Puck. "That's not a joke is it?" he asked. Puck shook his head slowly.

Josh took a drink of his beer and looked back at the card. "Number three. I'm everywhere," he said out loud, he did laugh at that, he stopped abruptly at the look on Puck's face. "That's not a joke either, is it?" he asked nervously. Puck shook his head again.

"Number four," Josh said with another gulp. "You hurt her, I hurt you," he looked up at Puck and just nodded in time with him. "Number five, be home thirty minutes early," Josh sighed. "You know Beth, that's not always possible, and she is twenty years old," he started to explain.

"Make it possible," Puck suggested quietly, cutting through Josh's excuses.

Josh did laugh at the next one. "Number six, get a lawyer," he said, still smiling. "You don't have to worry about that one, my dad's a lawyer," he told Puck.

Puck just raised his eyebrow again, his face set. "That doesn't make me like you any better," he told Josh.

"Number seven," Josh read after taking another sip of his beer. "If you lie to me I will find out," he shook his head, getting a little more nervous after glancing at the final two rules. "Number eight, she's my princess, not your conquest," Josh blew a breath out after speaking, his eyebrows as high as Puck's had been earlier. "Number nine, I don't mind going back to jail?" he asked with another nervous gulp.

"And the last one?" Puck asked silkily.

"Number ten, whatever you do to her, I will do to you," Josh read then handed the card back to Puck. "I get it, I do, really, you're very protective over Beth, almost like she's your daughter, but really, you don't have to worry, I would never harm her," he said earnestly.

"Not almost," Puck cut in, "_is _my daughter," he said, his voice once again hard. "Hurt her and I will separate you from your balls, got it?" he asked menacingly. Josh gulped once more and nodded.

"Everyone getting on over here?" Beth trilled happily as she returned from the ladies bathroom.

"I think Josh and I understand each other," Puck announced, smiling at Beth.

"Quinn's on her way," Beth informed Puck, leaning over the bar to slap a kiss on his cheek.

"Hey," Quinn called from the doorway a short while later. "How are you, sweetie?" she asked, hugging Beth. "And you must be Josh," she said, holding her hand out for the young man to shake, smiling at him. "I'm Quinn," she informed him.

"Josh," Beth said, her hands clasped in front of her, "I'd like you to formally meet my birth parents, Noah and Quinn Puckerman."

"You're both…both…" Josh stuttered.

"Both what?" Puck asked. "Too young?" he suggested.

"They were sixteen when they had me," Beth explained, hugging Josh round his neck, pressing her cheek to his.

"Well, yes, but the name," Josh spluttered, trying to get his words out.

"Yes, we're both Puckerman, we did eventually get married," Quinn replied with a nod and a flirty look in Puck's direction. "And?" she asked, still not sure what Josh was trying to get at.

"I'm Josh Giardi," the young man explained. "My Uncle Will still talks about you _all_ the time, all of you, his 'kids', his New Directions," he grinned. "I remember when you babysat for me and my brothers, what was that song you sang?" he asked, a huge grin on his face.

Puck and Quinn looked at each other in horror. "Oh my God it's one of the monsters," they said together.

"Yeah, we were pretty horrific," Josh agreed. "What did you sing?" he asked again.

"Papa Don't Preach," Quinn replied, blushing a little, remembering every inch of that night, especially once the three monsters had gone to bed.

"Yeah," Puck grinned, remembering every inch of that night too. He looked at Quinn and winked. "That was some night, right?" he asked. Quinn didn't answer, she couldn't, she was hiding her shy smile.

"You were pregnant, right?" Josh asked, replaying the night in his mind, remembering the young blond who had sung and danced. "Oooh," he said suddenly, remembering the scary looking mohawk guy who'd played guitar. He looked up again to meet Puck's eyes.

"Yeah," Puck agreed, noting the quick flash of fear in Josh's eyes. "Keep that in mind along with the rules and we'll get on just fine."


End file.
